Marriage 101: How to Keep the Romance Alive
Last updated on : October 16 2019
With any relationship, it’s normal for the honeymoon phase to come and go. No matter how long you are married — five months or five years — it’s not uncommon to lose the initial spark you felt at the beginning.
Losing the excitement doesn’t mean you don’t share a deep love for each other anymore. It just means that you’ve settled into your relationship and are comfortable with your partner.
Complacency isn’t a bad thing, but it still is critical to add some spontaneity into the mix now and then to keep your romance alive.
To reignite the light in your marriage, follow these top tips.
1. Schedule a Weekly Date Night
When you’re married, it’s easy to fall into a routine. Wake up, get ready, drop the kids off at school, go to work, make dinner, clean the house — the list goes on and on. After a while, your days become a bit too predictable, tiring, and unexciting.
That’s why you must take at least one day of the week to spend exclusively with your spouse.
Dedicate this time to focus on your partner by going out on new dates together. These don’t need to be expensive or time-consuming to be worthwhile either.
Try unusual activities, like a romantic hot air balloon ride or a couple’s kayaking lesson. These are a fun way to shake things up and get you out of any relationship ruts you’re experiencing.
Even if you spend just an hour together doing something special, setting aside this time each week will make a world of difference. Not only does it demonstrate your commitment to one another, but it also gives you a chance to reconnect throughout the week.
2. Get Intimate
Getting intimate with your partner can be difficult if you work full-time. Or are surrounded by your little ones. But it plays a crucial role in most happy, healthy marriages.
Besides the fact that intimacy is beneficial to your well-being, it can also strengthen your marital bond and enhance relationship satisfaction.
However, if you find yourselves in a rut, or dealing with sexual issues that are impeding comfort or performance, you might be suffering from a bad case of the bedroom blues.
In this situation, you and your spouse should explore different ways to improve your sex life.
For example, if a husband is having difficulty controlling his climax, he might ask his doctor about a medication to treat premature ejaculation. A wife struggling to reach orgasm, on the other hand, might speak with her doctor about taking a flibanserin prescription in an attempt to boost her sexual drive.
Or, perhaps, she’ll take measures into her own hands by trying other methods during intercourse to make the experience more pleasurable.
Whether it’s purchasing a sex toy or using a lubricant, trying new things is a sure-fire way to guarantee that making love, will keep you in love.
3. Prepare for Each Other
An obvious way to recognize that you and your significant other have fallen out of the honeymoon phase is when the excitement to see each other isn’t there anymore.
At the beginning of your relationship, you were likely extra cautious about the little things. Like the way you looked in front of them or how well-kempt your house was before they came over.
Now, it's probably safe to assume that you both have seen each other at your worst. So there’s no real need to doll yourself up anymore or get house chores in-check before the other person arrives home.
While it is true that not everything has to be picture-perfect, it shouldn’t mean you both stop trying altogether.
If you know what time your partner gets home from work every day, try preparing a special evening every once in a while. Take the time to make their favorite meal or finally complete the task they’ve been asking you to do.
Proving to them that you’re thinking of them in their absence will mean a lot to them.
Another way in which you can prepare for them is by getting dressed up.
For guys, this might mean a fresh shave or haircut, followed by a collared shirt and some dress pants. By contrast, ladies might slip into something that makes them feel sexy, such as a stylish dress paired with a flattering heel.
Along with that, they might take it one step further by shaving their legs and applying makeup just before their spouse gets home.
Looks aren’t everything, especially in a marriage, but putting a little effort into your physical appearance is something that your partner will quickly pick up on and appreciate.
4. Be Honest With Each Other
We all know honesty is the best policy. When you’re married, this saying proves to be especially important.
Having honest, clear communication with your spouse is a necessary component for a healthy partnership. It allows both of you to nurture and strengthen your relationship together.
Even though the truth hurts, sometimes, at the end of the day, we all appreciate a person’s honesty.
For marriages, being upfront with your partner about how you feel towards them and your relationship makes it much easier for you both to establish long-term trust.
When you are honest with each other, addressing your relationship problems and resolving them will become much easier for the two of you. You’ll both be able to openly discuss your concerns as they come, rather than waiting for them to build up inside of you.
Contrary to popular belief, flirting shouldn’t stop once you’ve gotten into a relationship with someone.
You may not have to try as hard to impress your long-term partner. But it’s still essential for couples to flirt with each other long into their marriage.
Unfortunately, though, flirting is generally overlooked by people once they start to feel stable and secure with someone. Being affectionate and flirtatious with your spouse shouldn’t be thought of as a chore.
Instead, think of it as an enjoyable, yet natural way to express to your significant other that you find them sexy and desirable.
From gazing into their eyes to innocently teasing them, flirting is arguably one of the essential components of a long, happy relationship.
As you move forward, try not to underestimate the power of telling your partner they look like a million bucks and how proud you are to be with them. Showering your spouse with genuine compliments and love can go a long way to keeping the romance alive.
6. Create ‘I Love You’ Reminders
A natural way to show your spouse you care is by leaving behind cute, little ‘I love you’ reminders when they’re not around.
Say, for example, you are a stay at home parent while your partner has a full-time that requires them to be on call at all hours of the day, seven days a week. In this situation, it’s probably quite challenging for the two of you to spend any lengthy amount of time with each other.
For reasons like this, creating an ‘I love you’ reminder for your partner to wake up and see first thing in the morning can be valuable for your marriage.
It’s a thoughtful reminder to them that even with opposite schedules, you’re still thinking of them and are devoted to your relationship.
Try it out. Before you go to bed tonight, write something down for your sweet someone and see for yourself just how significant it is to your partner.
Or, if you forget, use your technology to your advantage. At any time of the day, you’re just as capable of sending your spouse a romantic reminder via text message. It only takes three seconds.
No, it’s not the same thing, but it’s still a small gesture that relays the love you have for your significant other.
Beyond just sending a message with the words, “I love you,” there are also different ways to communicate your admiration through text.
Here are a few examples:
- “Just want to let you know that I’m thinking about you.”
- “What time will you be home later? I want to spend some time with you.”
- “Wishing you the best of luck with your presentation today! You’re going to do great; I believe in you!”
7. Surprise Your Spouse
Surprising your spouse with a small gift here, and there can be incredibly impactful for your marriage.
It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant. Something as straightforward as flowers and a treat is more than okay. A simple card expressing a sweet sentiment is just as thoughtful!
Bringing home a present, big or small, is a great way to convey your affection to your partner. It shows them that even in their absence, they are still on your mind.
So, the next time you go somewhere, and you see something that reminds you of your spouse, take that extra step to surprise them with it.
Doing this will make every day special for both of you - and avoid the angst of getting your ex back after a breakup.
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