How To Resurrect Your Sex Life In 17 Steps

Last updated on : January 29 2023

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Step 1. Use your television time productively

Many couples watch television to destress after a long work week. Try turning off the little black box and devoting one-on-one time to each other instead. If this seems like a far-fetched idea, start small and limit your hours.

Studies show that couples with a television in their bedroom have half as much sex. So changing your bedtime television routine is an excellent first step.

While in front of the TV, give your love a foot massage. Initiating intimacy is as simple as laying your head down on your partner’s lap, and letting him stroke your hair while you relax.

Step 2. Date your lover

The spark in your sex life diminishes when you stop treating your lover like when you first dated.

Do you still plan your date nights? Do you dress up in that beautiful dress stowed away in your closet?

If your ‘special time’ is sitting around in your pajamas, it is time to date your lover again. In earnest!

Go out bowling or play mini-golf, stop by a new restaurant. Go for a starlit ferry ride. Get clad in a sexy bandage dress, put your makeup on, and meet your lover for the first time all over again!

Step 3. Stop chaste kissing

Some kisses will be the death of your sex life.

If you are pecking on the cheek, or lip grazing for split seconds, then think again. Make the most of every single kiss.

The power of a kiss is incredible. It will work wonders for your sex life.

Step 4. Write him a coupon

Sometimes the problem lies in a lack of communication. Let your partner know that you want them.

A straightforward way to do this is to write a coupon or sexy check. A back rub when they need it, head-to-toe kisses—use your imagination. Let them know that they can redeem the ticket at any time.

Step 5. Plan for sex

Okay, this may sound like taking the spontaneity out of it. But the truth is that with busy schedules, planning for the deed might be what is required.

Don't think of sex as “optional.” We need physical touch in our lives as much as food, water, and shelter.

Sex strengthens your bond and keeps love alive and healthy. It is an integral part of the art of seduction. 

Step 6. Surprise and entertain

In long-term relationships, partners take each other for granted. We forget how to flirt and initiate sex.

Be innovative. Ask your partner out on a date. Shock them by slipping into a sexy dress for dinner and a more beautiful robe for the rest of the night.

Get their heart racing, and your sex life will improve fast!

Step 7. Try sexual field trips

A great way to keep your sex life alive is to shake things up.

If you get naughty only in the bedroom, mix it up in other places in your house. Get nasty in the kitchen, in the pool, or the bathroom.

For the more adventurous, take your sex life outdoors and make it daring. 

Step 8. Take hostages and play games

Does your partner spend time poring over the sports section of the newspaper? Does your love have a habit of turning on the TV to check the news?

Take the newspaper or TV remote hostage. For ransom, demand a long smooch, foreplay, snuggling, or something sexy. Done right, taking hostage and playing games is titillating. 

Read More5 Sex Positions You Need To Try for Better Pleasure and Stimulation

Step 9. Stop working so much

Making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

We spend way too much time at work, and we bring it home with us.

Promise each other to keep work off the table. Do not indulge in any shop talk. Focus on your partner, share new ideas, thoughts, dreams, and fantasies instead. 

There are more exciting things to talk about than a gripe about work. The same-old happenings in your workplace will bore your partner. 

Step 10. Plan a night in “Vegas” - sort of  

No, we are not asking you to pack your bags and go to Vegas. But by all means, do it if you can!

Have you heard of the saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”?

Plan a night sharing your wildest sexual fantasies. Agree to open up without any fear of repercussions.

Some fantasies may be impossible to fulfill, and that is okay. Instead, find common ground to work your hearts desires into your sex life. Sometimes a jumpstart is all you need.

Step 11. No phones over the weekend

Technology is fun, but boy, does it have downsides!

Connecting to your phone too often will cause your relationships to suffer. Your sex life is like Tinkerbell. If you do not give it attention, it will die.

Keep your phones and laptops away and enjoy your partner instead. The world isn't going anywhere!

Step 12. Use technology to your advantage

Don't wait until you are physically together to start the foreplay. Use technology to your advantage.

Send a text letting them know you are thinking of them. Describe what you want vividly. Snap a quick shot of your gorgeous pout to show what is waiting. 

Get sexting for a new type of foreplay and indulge frequently. 

Step 13. Try something different

Do not succumb to routine between the sheets. Try a new and exciting position instead. Find one that is exciting to both of you and give it a shot. Be patient and make sure you are both comfortable. 

Try role-playing. Be the sexy policewoman to his rugged prisoner. Or the blushing student to his mature teacher. The list of potential plays is endless.

A role play gives you the chance to let go safely and experiment. It does not need to be elaborate. A few chosen lines of dialogue and the right attitude is all you need to get going.

Step 14. Befriend the quickie

Put an early morning sexual workout into your schedule.

Sync your lunchtimes and escape home or to a hotel. A lunch hour quickie is a great sexual prelude to a session later at home. It keeps the heart racing.

Step 15. Try a talisman

Long working hours and commute times put pressure on your readiness for spontaneous sex. Sometimes you are too tired. 

Give yourself and your partner some time to prepare. Find a talisman—a coin, a bead, a pillow, anything. Leaving it on your partner’s dresser or pillow means that you are ready for sex, at least within the next 24 hours!

The talisman allows secure communication and takes pressure away, leaving you ready for some spontaneity. 

Read MoreHow To Rekindle The Romance After Cervical Cancer

Step 16. Keep the magic of your love strong  

Start at least one statement a day with, “I appreciate you, for….”

A beneficial relationship leads to a positive one between the sheets. It is lovely to hear someone you love express adoration for you. This simple statement has the potential to keep the magic alive and give your relationship that much needed romantic boost.

Countless studies support the impact and importance of touch. Physical touch protects our mental health and confirms that we are loved and desired. Knowing we are not alone in the world completes us, and allows us to carry on living. Find time to kiss and cuddle regularly. 

Step 17. Start by seducing yourself

You cannot attract your partner if you don't feel sexy yourself.

Take a long ‘scentual’ bath. Pamper yourself. Put music on, the right outfit, do your hair, and feel sexy.

Start by seducing yourself. It will put you in the mood to attract your partner.

Read More - How To Ask My Girlfriend If We Can Sext and Send Nudes


Sex and physical affection is an intricate part of our mental health. In many circumstances, touch is stronger than verbal or emotional contact. Society is dangerously touch-deprived, and many people suffer from a shortage of tactile stimulation or “touch hunger.”

Reigniting your sex life, putting passion and touch back into your relationship is all about communication, effort, and practice. Be open and honest with your lover about your intentions, learn to seduce yourself, and then try out these 17 steps to put a smile on your face.

Bonus Read: Why Women Lose Attraction For Men And What To Do About It

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are the questions most frequently asked by our readers:

1. What is the most critical factor in resurrecting a sex life?

Communication with your partner is crucial in resurrecting a sex life. Open and honest discussions about desires, concerns, and expectations can help to build trust and intimacy.

2. What are some practical steps to take to revive a sexual relationship?

Practical steps include trying new things together, focusing on emotional intimacy, prioritizing self-care, and seeking professional help.

3. How can self-care help to revive a sexual relationship?

Taking care of your physical and mental health can help to increase your confidence and overall well-being, leading to improved sexual experiences.

4. What if there are deeper issues affecting our sexual relationship?

Suppose deeper issues affect your sexual relationship, such as past trauma or lack of emotional intimacy. In that case, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a therapist or sex therapist.

5. How can experimenting with new sexual activities help to revive a sexual relationship?

Trying new things can add excitement and variety to your sexual experiences, helping to reignite passion and increase intimacy with your partner.

6. Can therapy help to revive a sexual relationship?

Yes, therapy can be beneficial in reviving a sexual relationship, primarily if deeper issues, such as lack of communication, trust, or past trauma, affect the relationship.

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