How to Keep Your Sex Life Alive After a Long Work Week
Posted on October 04 2016
With long hours of working, the unfortunate truth is that most of us have very little time or energy left for romance, cuddling, and sex with our love. Is it no wonder then that our sex lives end up bearing the brunt of a long work week? If you tend to have a long daily commute, hardships at work, and low job satisfaction your know that this easily leads to stress.
If you have not had adequate time to build and invest in your relationship, chances are that the spark in your relationship may be dimming or may even have disappeared completely. Fret not! Whatever is broken is able to be fixed with a bit of effort and delegated time. Likewise, if your sex life seems boring and unimaginative or you are worried about how to change things, we have compiled a list of ideas that spice up even the most drab sex lives.
The Importance of Physical Touch in Relationships
Sex and physical affection are not only a means to an end of bliss, but rather an intricate part of our mental health. As the world continues to be impaired by digital influences such as social media and online shopping, our relationships with those we love suffers. If you are having a hard time unplugging for the digital world, check out our article on what experts recommend for saving love in our digital era.
In her book released in 2001, Touch, Tiffany Fields explains the issues involving touch in American societies. She claims, that “...in many circumstances, touch is stronger than verbal or emotional contact. Touch is critical for children's growth, development, and health, as well as for adults' physical and mental well-being.” She also argues that the current American society, is dangerously touch deprived and many people suffer from a shortage of tactile stimulation or “touch hunger.”
Tips for Resurrecting Your Sex Life
There are countless studies that support the impact and importance of touch. Physical touch protects your mental health and delivers reassurance that you are loved and desired; and visa versa with your mate. Knowing you are not alone in the world is one of the most satisfying and fulfilling things for most of us. If you have not found time to love and cuddle regularly, here are few tips to help keep your sex life alive after a long day.
Use your television time productively.
One of the things most couples do to destress after a long work week is watch television. If turning off the little black box and devoting one-on-one time to each other seems like a far-fetched idea, start small and limit hours. It has been proven that couples who have a television in their bedroom have half as much sex as those who do not. So changing your bedtime television routine is an excellent first step.
To start, while you are sitting in front of the TV, give your love a foot massage. Sometimes initiating intimacy is as simple as laying your head down on your partner’s lap, and letting them stroke your hair while you relax.
Date your lover.
A primary reason that the spark in your sex life seems diminished is that you are no longer treating your lover like you used to when you were first dating. Do you still plan for your date nights? What about dressing up in that beautiful dress you have stowed away in your closet? If your ‘dates’ are just sitting on the couch in your pyjamas, it is time to begin dating your lover again—in earnest! Go out bowling or play mini golf, stop by a new restaurant you have not tried yet, or go for a starlit ferry ride. Get clad in one of our best selling sexy bandage dresses (or get demure in a black midi dress), put your makeup on, and meet your lover for the first time all over again!
Stop chaste kissing.
There are some kisses that become the kiss of death for your sex life. If your kisses have been reduced to chaste pecking on the cheek or a lip graze that lasts less than a second, then you need to say no to the peck. Make it a point to make the most of every single kiss. Do not underestimate the power of a kiss – you will be surprised to see how much of a difference this makes in your sex life.
Write him a coupon.
Sometimes the problem lies in a lack of communication. Let your partner know that you want them. One simple way to do this is to write a coupon or a sexy check—a back rub when they need it, head-to-toe kisses—use your imagination. And do not forget to them know that they redeem the coupon at any time.
Plan for sex.
Okay, this may sound like we are taking the spontaneity out of it. But the truth is that if both of you have busy schedules, then planning for the deed may just be what is most required. Avoid thinking of sex as “optional” and remember that physical touch is just as needed in both of your lives as food, water, and shelter. Sex strengthens your bond and keeps the love alive and strong.
Surprise and entertain.
At times, especially in long-term relationships, partners get too used to individual ways of flirting and initiating sex. Be innovative and ask them out on a date, shock them by slipping into a sexy dress for dinner and a sexier negligee for the rest of the night—get their heart racing, and in no time, you are sure to find that your sex life has become sexy once again.
Try sexual field trips.
One of the ways to keep your sex life alive is to shake things up. If you are used to getting naughty only in the bedroom, try to mix it up with other places in your house. Get out of bed, and get naughty in the kitchen, in the pool, or the bathroom.
Take hostages and play games.
Does your partner spend more time poring over the sports section of the newspaper than on you? Does your love have a habit of turning the TV on to check the news? Take the newspaper or TV remote hostage, and in ransom, demand a long smooch, foreplay, snuggling, or something more.
Stop working so much.
Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'.” Not only do we spend way too much time at work, we also tend to bring it home with us. Promise each other to keep work off the table, and do not indulge in any shop talk. Focus on your partner, and share new ideas, thoughts, dreams, and fantasies, instead of griping about the same-old happenings in your respective work places.
Plan a night in “Vegas” - sort of.
No, we are not asking you to pack your bags and go to Vegas (by all means, do it if you can!) Have you heard of the saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”? Well, plan a night for sharing your wildest sexual fantasies where you and your partner can truly open up without any fear of repercussions. Some fantasies may be impossible to fulfil, and that is okay. Find some common ground and work those fantasies into your sex life. Sometimes a jumpstart is all you need.
Start by seducing yourself.
You cannot seduce your partner if you are not feeling sexy at all. Start your evening a little early—go for a long ‘scentual’ bath, pamper yourself, put the right music on, change into a sexy outfit, do your hair, etc. Start by seducing yourself and you will be in the right mood to seduce your partner later.
No phones over the weekend.
Technology is great, but boy, does it have downsides! The price of being connected to your work life every second of every day is that your personal relationships begin to suffer. Your sex life is like Tinkerbell. If you do not give it attention, it most likely dies. Keep your phones and laptops put away. You and your partner have the right to enjoy the weekend or at least a night disconnected from the rest of the world. Remember that the world goes on - and will be there when you get back.
Use technology to your advantage.
Foreplay need not begin only after you are in front of your partner. Use technology to your advantage—send them a text letting them know you are thinking of them, describe what you want vividly, or snap a quick shot of that gorgeous pout to show them what will be waiting when they get home. Sexting is the technological version of foreplay—indulge!
Try something different.
Do not give in to routine between the sheets maneuvers. Try a new position—it does not need to be something strenuous or dangerous. Find a position that sounds exciting to the both of you, and give it a shot. Be patient and ensure each other’s comfort. Be the sexy policewoman to his rugged prisoner, or the blushing student to his mature teacher—the list of potential role plays is endless. A role play gives you the opportunity to step out of the personality of the person you are on a regular day. It gives you a chance to experiment. It does not need to be something elaborate. A few chosen lines of dialogue and the right attitude is all you need to get a role play underway.
Befriend the quickie.
Work in that early morning sexual workout into your schedule. Sync your lunch times and escape home or to a hotel—a lunch hour quickie is just the brief yet memorable sexual encounter you need to put you in the mood for a longer session once you get home.
Try a talisman.
When you have to factor in long working hours and commute time, the expectation of being ready for spontaneous sex can feel pressurizing. How about giving yourself and your partner some time to prepare? Find a talisman—a coin, a bead, a pillow, anything. Decide that leaving the talisman on your partner’s dresser or pillow means that sex is to ensue within the next 24 hours! The talisman shifts ownership from one person to the other once it is used.
Keep the magic of your love strong.
Start at least one statement a day with, “I appreciate you for…” A relationship that is wholesome and good outside of the bedroom generally leads to a positive one between the sheets. Furthermore, it is wonderful to hear someone you love tell you that you are adored, and vice versa. This simple statement has the potential to keep the magic alive, and give your relationship that much needed romantic boost.
Remember that if the roadblock is not in your relationship, then perhaps the long working hours are getting you too fatigued to appreciate the good things in life. Cut down your work hours, if possible. Eat the right food at the right time, and schedule in some time to work on your fitness. If you feel better, you will do better in keeping your sex life alive and well.
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