How To Ask My Girlfriend If We Can Sext And Send Nudes

Last updated on : August 28 2021

Imagining Sexting

Introduction - The Trouble With Sexting

When you enter into a relationship with an amazing woman, there are many perks. One is physical intimacy - which can help bring two people closer together and show love and affection. 

However, you may not spend every day or night together, so finding ways to spark intimacy when you are apart is essential. 

One way is through sexual messages and images, or 'sexting.' Sexting lets you share intimate details and pictures with your lover, even when she is not physically present.

However, while she may be happy to engage in actual sexual intercourse with you, there is no guarantee she will also be willing to sext with you. 

Getting her agreement to sext can be difficult because both of you might not be that confident sending images of self-pleasure or nudes to each other. 

Many people have valid concerns about these types of images used as a form of revenge porn. While some countries have specific laws regarding this, a victim of revenge porn may struggle with the trauma it provides. 

For this reason, there will need to be a high level of trust between yourself and your partner before engaging in sexting activities. 

Here are some guidelines to consider. 

Happy To Wait

Give Her Plenty of Time

Rushing your girlfriend into sexting or sending nudes can be a massive turn-off and even cause problems for your relationship as a whole.  

When you first present the idea of sexting to her, don't rush into starting the sessions immediately. Give her time to digest and get comfortable with the concept first. 

Encourage her questions and use the time to discover any turn-ons, kinks, or fetishes that the two of you may have, including ones you share and ones she may be willing to explore. 

This type of open conversation can also help improve your actual sexual activity significantly too.

Make it clear to her that you will neither send nor expect messages until she is comfortable participating. Taking your time and providing plenty of reassurance will help build further trust in your relationship.  

Any small steps she makes towards more sexual openness, or sexual communications, should be met with understanding and support. Making fun of any text or images she sends or ideas she addresses could make her shut down on you.

Beautiful Girl

Prepare To Show All

One of the ways that you can start a sexting session is to let your girlfriend know what you think of her, giving compliments about her looks, personality, and intelligence. 

When you make a woman feel like she is more than just her sexual organs, it can help to ignite the fires that lead to sexual activity.

Gradually easing the conversation from innocent to mildly sexual can also help to stimulate your girlfriend and make her want to know what you will say next. 

You can help her get into the mood by gently describing what you would do if you were there with her or even tell her a sexual story. 

Regarding your confidence, keep in mind that she has already seen you naked and engaged in intercourse with you. Nothing you show her about your body should appear as new or strange. 

She may find it appealing to see how you pleasure yourself while thinking only of her.

Don't Be Shy

Sexting and sending nude images doesn't leave a lot of room for shyness.

Due to the pressures put upon women by society and the media, your partner may feel even more nervous than you do about engaging in these activities, especially if she isn't happy with parts of her body. 

Cellulite, imperfections, and even stretch marks can be entirely normal. However, if she feels insecure about these, they may create a barrier she needs to overcome.

You also need to realize that sexting is not a one-way street. While you may enjoy the various images or videos your girlfriend sends you, you will need to reciprocate. 

It can be easier to send the first image once she has given you signals or stated that she is ready to take your texting to the next level. Waiting for her go-ahead can help to take a lot of the pressure off of your partner. 

Differentiate From Sex

Although you may be using these communications as a means of gaining sexual gratification for yourself and your partner, even when not in physical proximity, sexting will never be the same as actively engaging in intercourse. 

Instead, sexting is its own unique experience. You can use it as an avenue to explore other fantasies, such as roleplay, in a safe environment. 

Some of these fantasies may feel embarrassing for yourself or your partner to discuss or trial them in person - but you might do so by sext.

Sexting can also be a great way to add a bit of mystery to your sex life, as it can allow you to pretend to be anyone. After planning a scenario with your partner, you can assume your agreed roles and act out the scene.  

Having a safe word, as you would when exploring kinks in real life, can help to signify if either party is beginning to feel uncomfortable. 

Remember that sexting and intercourse are two different activities. There may be some things that you, or your girlfriend, are more than happy to do in person but would not write about or send in pictures. 

Likewise, some things that are discussed in a message may not come to pass in reality. By understanding the differences and accepting your girlfriend's limits, you can enjoy your time together and apart by text.

Sexting To A Lover

Continue Communicating

When your girlfriend becomes comfortable with sexting, or you have been engaging in it for a while, your girlfriend may feel more able to express her darkest desires. 

Keep in mind that, at times, some people may have sexual fantasies that may seem quite taboo. However, you can explore these between two consenting adults through the medium of sexting.

You can also discuss favorite positions or those you'd like to try in the future.  

While sexting should allow both you and your girlfriend to gain that satisfaction when you cannot be intimate in person. You can also use it to discuss anything with your chosen partner without fear of an adverse reaction. 

When you are used to discussing sordid thoughts and fantasies, it can make the more trivial discussions easier.

Set Your Limits

The type of relationship you have with your girlfriend, and the limits you set, may affect how you send sexual messages. There may be times when you or your girlfriend are busy or simply not in the mood for sexual messaging. 

When this occurs, you need to respect the other person's decision, but that doesn't mean your own needs should go unanswered. You can independently take care of your desires, perhaps using previously sent messages or images as inspiration.

On the other hand, if your relationship is more open and pornography or messaging sites are acceptable, there may be ways around your partner's absence without resorting to unfaithful behavior. 

You can use a sexual messaging site that will allow you to send and receive messages with a stranger, with absolutely no strings attached.

And, if at any point, you or your girlfriend no longer feel comfortable with these being used, you can have another conversation regarding limits and boundaries and adjust your future actions.


Speaking to your girlfriend about your desires within your relationship, including wanting to sext and send nudes, can seem like an awkward feat. 

However, by being open, honest, and patient, you may be pleasantly surprised by her response. 

With the correct approach, sexting can also help to improve other aspects of your relationship through increased trust and open communication, alongside mutual satisfaction.

Keep things playful, with no expectations, to help both of you slip in and out of sexting as the mood desires. And allow your sexting to evolve and adapt just as much as your relationship does.  

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