Gamer Dating Made Easy: How To Date A Gaming Enthusiast

Last updated on : June 20 2021

Close up of woman using a video game controller.

Article Summary

So you want to date a gamer? One thing you can be sure of from the start is that it will be a different experience, especially if you aren’t a gamer yourself. Although gaming is not a niche-specific activity, gamers do have individual quirks.

Thus, you need to know how to pry their attention from their games without seeming intrusive, needy, or driving them away. This delicate line might be a potential cause of tension and so needs to be towed carefully.

Click on the links below to learn more. 

Introduction - Dating A Gaming Enthusiast

Understand That Gaming Is Normal

Share The Fun

Bond With Other Interests

Watch Out For Gaming Addiction

Enjoy Your New Partner


Dating A Gaming Enthusiast

So you want to date a gamer? One thing you can be sure of from the start is that it will be a different experience, especially if you aren’t a gamer yourself. Although gaming is not a niche-specific activity, gamers do have individual quirks.

In the first place, it might seem like you will have to compete with the games for your partner’s attention. Furthermore, your new partner could be an extreme introvert, used to staring at a screen rather than communicating with others, or passionate about eSports.

Thus, you need to know how to pry their attention from their games without seeming intrusive, needy, or driving them away. This delicate line might be a potential cause of tension and so needs to be towed carefully.


While peculiarities exist, on the one hand, stereotypes and misconceptions exist on the other.

For instance, we assume that men make up the bulk of gamers. This assumption is hardly correct. Research shows that while 59 percent of gamers are male, 41 percent are female. The difference then is not as gaping as popular culture presents it.

This incorrect assumption is just one example of many people have about gamers and gaming. And just like any other relationship, harboring misconceptions can be dangerous.

Instead, you will need to treat the individual for who they are, with their hobby just being a part of them. And this approach may require you to do some learning.

Below you will find the tips that will guide you on how to date a gaming enthusiast.

Understand That Gaming Is Normal

Before you even think of dating a gamer, you first have to acknowledge that gaming is a regular hobby. It is as healthy as playing the guitar or scrabble.

A lot of people play games these days. It is both a recreational and social activity hence the many different types of games that exist. Gaming might even have real cognitive benefits, according to some research.

You have to discard the idea that games are for children. As already established, this is not true. A lot of adults, both male and female, play video games, and for a variety of reasons.

There are even dating websites for gamers, focused on bringing players together to explore their passions. Gaming is anything but infantile.

Don't trivialize

More so, when you trivialize your partner’s passion, you will end up disrespecting them in the process, even when that is not your intention. An offhand comment or a rude remark about your partner’s gaming habits could potentially ruin your relationship

It is hardly possible to sustain a relationship when there isn’t mutual respect on both sides. If your partner is an avid gamer, respecting their passion will be vital to them.

You may want to try to understand the video games your partner plays. Have a conversation with them. Try to understand why gaming is important to them, how they got introduced to the game, their favorite ones, etc.

You might be surprised at the aspects of your partner’s character that you would glimpse through this process. Also, it sends a message to your partner that you see and respect them.

Of course, it might be that you simply do not understand why your partner loves playing games. Even after having a conversation with them, it might still not be clear.

You can always respect their hobbies anyway. Though understanding puts things in a better perspective, respect can thrive even in its absence.

Acknowledge that gaming is only an aspect of who your partner is. Make this concession and focus on other parts of your relationship with your partner.

Read moreThe Dangers Of Online Dating And How To Protect Yourself

Share The Fun

Gaming is a social hobby, which makes it one of the fastest ways to bond with someone. You can play video games with your gaming partner as a way of getting to know them.

You need not be a pro to share a game with them. Your level of expertise is secondary because the focus is on the intimacy of the moment as opposed to being competitive.

Even if you have no prior experience, your partner could teach you. Learning to play will also allow you to explore a new side of yourself. You might even end up loving the game and becoming a gamer yourself.

Also, you do not have to worry about getting to like the game. It could be a one-off activity. Your partner would appreciate the fact that you tried at least once. It could also be something you indulge in every once in a while.

Again, in an ideal environment, playing with your partner could make up for your lack of interest. Deliberately try to make the process as fun as possible. Experiment with different game types.

Co-op games are examples of those specifically designed to improve couple dynamics. These games require players to play in a team of two or more.

Imagine having a date night with your partner, and instead of watching a movie, you two snuggle on the couch playing video games. That totally could be you.

Bond With Other Interests

While playing a couple of rounds with your partner is an excellent bonding idea, it might not work in all cases. You may be terrible at gaming, or it could be that you simply have no interest at all in gaming. In these instances, instead of forcing yourself to ‘endure’ a game, you could go offline instead.

You and your partner can commit to spending several hours uninterrupted. They would stay away from their games the entire time, and you two will instead find a favorite pastime to indulge.

You could engage in a hobby, or play a sport, or even take a walk. Whatever you spend the time doing is not as important as spending the time together. The idea is for you to bond together, without their gaming interfering.

Gamers are often dedicated people and could get sucked into their games. Sometimes this happens inadvertently even without any conscious effort on their part. The desire to play and the pleasure gained from it can push them to always be on their consoles, sometimes leading them to ignore you.

Even though they may not be deliberately ignoring you, it doesn’t make it acceptable.

You have to understand that for your relationship to work, there has to be constant communication. You and your partner need to set up boundaries and engineer systems that will help your communication flow. 

If they love you and want to be with you, turning off the television every once in a while wouldn’t be a hard compromise to make.

Watch Out For Gaming Addiction

Gaming addiction is becoming so prevalent that health experts are beginning to get worried. A person is addicted to gaming when it becomes a priority activity for them.

A gaming addict is no different from an alcohol or opioid addict and so will exhibit similar behavioral traits. Thus, a gaming addict will decide to play obsessively, neglecting other critical aspects of their lives. They could engage in risky gaming habits, including playing games for long hours at a stretch or ignoring health warnings about their gaming routine.

Thus, if you find out that your partner spends hours on end huddled in front of the television playing video games, you may need to be concerned.

Look out for these signs. Are they putting themselves or others in danger by their practices? Do they neglect their responsibilities, such as their jobs, just to play their video games? Does gaming infuse them with a high that cannot be sated until they’ve indulged their cravings? More importantly, do they ignore these warning signs or seem oblivious to how their gaming addiction is hurting them and your relationship?

The answers you give to these questions will determine if you have to be worried or not. However, if it turns out that your partner is suffering a gaming addiction, there is little you can do. Just like any other addict, the gamer has to acknowledge their dependence and seek help.

On your part, you can nudge them towards seeing these signs. You can also help them search for help, including getting their loved ones or family involved if necessary. You can also be emotionally and physically available for them throughout the period. It might be helpful to bear in mind that gaming addiction is not the end of the world.

Enjoy Your New Partner

Having read up to this point, you might be under the mistaken assumption that dating a gamer is all work and no fun. You may be imagining that you’d have to tiptoe around your partner if they are gamers. This is hardly so.

Dating a gamer can be fun. Certain perks can only come from dating a gamer.

For instance, a gamer would understand and appreciate the need for alone-time. They will be happy to give you the time you need if you have to be alone. You wouldn’t have to deal with a jealous or inconsiderate partner. Imagine the nights out you’d enjoy without feeling the need to over-explain to your partner.

Gamers are also famous for being low-maintenance, and often real gentlemen. An ideal date might just involve some bowls of popcorn and their games for the company. You wouldn’t have to worry about expensive dates and gifts. Once a gamer gets their hands on the latest game, they are all but satisfied.

Your partner may have some qualities, such as patience, tenacity, and grit, just because they are gamers. A gamer is used to waiting. They wait for the release of new games every time. Also, while playing, they learn how to be tactical, waiting for the right time to launch an offense or defense.

Additionally, a gamer will not give up quickly and would always strive for alternatives in the face of challenges.

These qualities may not seem like much, but when inserted into everyday life, make your partner somebody you can count on. The idea here is to show that you will not have to ‘endure’ being with a gamer. You might even enjoy dating them precisely for the reason that they are gamers.


Playing game on mobile

Dating a gamer, just like dating a person with any other hobby, can be a deeply fulfilling experience.

Eventually, it comes down to the stuff your partner is made of. As stated earlier, gaming is just an aspect of the individual’s personality. Understanding how to relate to them in that area can significantly influence the flavor of your relationship.

However, it will not be the sole decider of whether you succeed in your relationship or not.

Therefore, you both must work on your relationship together. Make room for concessions, develop a lot of tolerance and mutual respect, and be candid with your partner at all times.

Relationships can take their toll, but if you are willing to commit to it, your hard work will pay off in the end.

At this point, it is safe to say that you have adequate knowledge of how to interact with your gamer partner. Hopefully, a few months/years from now, you will find that your partner’s hobby added, rather than detracted, from your relationship.

About the author

Sandra Manson is a passionate journalist who has been contributing to major media publications. She enjoys writing about human psychology and lifestyle. Sandra also runs her blog where she covers topics of great interest in modern society.

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