Five Bonding Conversations To Have With Your Spouse

Last updated on : June 18 2021

A woman puts her arms around her partner.

Article Summary

Investing time communicating with your partner is a great way to develop your relationship positively and to eliminate relationship dips. And setting time apart for specific conversations, on a regular basis, can help you and your spouse form a deeper connection.   

Take a look at the five conversations to have with your spouse, below. Try to use them to strengthen the bond you have worked hard to establish and to improve the quality of both your lives.

Introduction - Bonding With Your Spouse

1. Revisit Health Goals

2. Discuss Your Financial Future

3. Introduce Constructive Criticism

4. Express Gratitude

5. Ask Questions


Bonding With Your Spouse

Your partner is someone you have chosen to commit to and love for the rest of your life. However, even with this commitment, relationships change over time, and it is possible to experience good and bad periods. 

Investing time communicating with each other is a great way to develop your relationship positively and to eliminate relationship dips. And setting time apart for specific conversations, on a regular basis, can help you and your spouse form a deeper connection.   

Take a look at the five conversations to have with your spouse, below. Try to use them to strengthen the bond you have worked hard to establish and to improve the quality of both your lives.

1. Revisit Health Goals

Whether you've recently gotten married or have been hitched for years, revisiting your health goals as a couple is an essential topic to discuss with your loved one.

Physical Health

study found that a woman gains 24 pounds on average in the first five years of marriage, so keeping check of our physical health is vital. 

You don't need to make specific weight loss goals, instead simply spend some quality time talking to your partner about small adjustments to your everyday routines. 

Whether you need healthy-eating advice to change up your habits or are seeking some fitness tips to incorporate in your workout plans, starting small is a great place to begin.

You can find new activities you love to do and feel closer, while motivating each other, knowing that you're building each other up in the process. 

Mental Health

Remember that you and your partner's mental health is also a meaningful conversation as it relates to your overall well-being.

While talking about your headspace isn't always easy; being open and honest with your partner can build trust and allow each of you to learn how to best support each other.

This conversation can include encouraging each other to practice self-care or scheduling regular check-ins to promote an open environment to talk about your feelings.

Working towards your physical and mental health goals together is a fun way to bond and encourage positive habits. If done well, these changes will improve your quality of life and leave you both feeling healthier and happier.

2. Discuss Your Financial Future

Financial difficulty, or money overall, often puts a strain on relationships.

Large Purchases

How you manage your finances, budgets, debts, bills, and more is a great topic to discuss, helping you alleviate any financial woes and make definite plans for the future.

A great place to start can be to plan for more substantial purchases you hope to make as a couple, an overseas trip, or a new home, for example. It is exciting to set goals together, and to map out how you'll achieve them builds commitment to grow side by side.

Every couple will have different interests and financial goals, so determining what's important and which hobbies or lifestyle investments you wish to pursue together plays a large part in planning out a successful budget.

Take simple steps together to decide what is right for you, regardless of whether these will be individual or joint ventures.

Life Insurance 

Feel closer to your partner by ensuring you are addressing your financial futures responsibly. 

Although it may seem difficult to imagine your life without your significant other, by planning, you will both feel more secure and at ease, knowing that each will be taken care of financially.

You want to ensure that your spouse is not at risk financially in case something happens to you, so this conversation is vital and will help reassure you both. Look at comparing life insurance policies and solutions that cover income replacement, mortgage payments, student loan payments, and more.

Discussing how you can best protect each other, whatever the future holds, will not only help you feel more secure, but it can bring you both peace of mind that your love can carry on.

Overall, try to keep these conversations responsible but fun. It is easier to build a solid foundation in your relationship and become closer when you take on these responsibilities in a productive and enjoyable conversation.

3. Introduce Constructive Criticism

Everyone handles constructive criticism differently.

However, taking the time to sensitively communicate with your spouse where you feel they can improve goes a long way to finding long-term happiness together.

Yes, if you are open to constructive criticism, and your partner is willing to do the same, you will find your relationship improving.

A powerful way to go about these conversations is to understand the most efficient way to talk with your partner. Both of you need to know that no person is perfect, so as you discuss some of your downfalls look at it as an opportunity to grow rather than getting defensive or upset.

Although it's not easy to admit our flaws, making a conscious effort, and putting a plan in place to make changes can leave both partners feeling more fulfilled in the relationship.

Also, making quality time for each other's needs shows that putting others before yourself can, in return, prove to be beneficial to your relationship. You will also notice that problems become more comfortable to solve, as they are managed straight away rather than left to fester over time.

The areas you feel that your relationship is lacking will vary from couple to couple— whether it's your work/life balance, your intimacy, past issues, or other parts of your relationship.

4. Express Gratitude

The love shared between spouses is unique, yet it is often too easy to take your significant other for granted.

While your appreciation may always be there, having clear and pointed conversations on why and how much you care for your partner can offer respect and validation within a relationship.

There are several ways to go about showing gratitude to your spouse, and personalizing the way can make your loved one feel even more special.

Whether you show a small act of kindness or give them a token of appreciation, acknowledging the other for the person they are and the love they show you is crucial for the relationship.

If you feel like you are in a rocky stage of your relationship, you may find it difficult to express gratitude or wonder whether it's the right thing to do. If this is the case, then don't chase, but instead provide space to your partner to approach you, follow these rules.  

5. Ask Questions

Although this may seem obvious or something you already do daily, staying curious about the other is vital to learn and grow with your loved one continually.

When you ask questions, even as simple as how their day went, it shows that you are invested in their feelings and care about their needs and concerns.

Additionally, asking questions can start conversations and keep things fresh in your marriage.

Try asking a few of these thought-provoking questions to learn more about your partner. It can be interesting to see where your views differ or are the same, discover new things about your spouse, and even spark your ideas on where you can take your future together.

Along with conversational questions, be sure you don't avoid asking the more important questions within your marriage as well, like future family plans. 

Your thoughts and beliefs can change throughout your marriage, which is why it's essential to have a deeper understanding of each other so you can continue to grow together.

When you ask these questions, even if you don't agree with their answer, it also serves as good practice to overcome challenges in your marriage and work through disagreements.


You may find yourself surprised how healthy bonding conversations strengthen the connections in your relationship - and improve both your levels of self-esteem and respect.

Every marriage has room for growth and ways to improve, and by having a few of these conversations, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised by the next level of connection you will find with your spouse.

If you take these proactive steps to strengthen your bond, you will find yourself in a happier relationship. No relationship is perfect, but yours could very well come close.

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