18 Qualities Of A Good Man Or Woman To Marry
Last updated on : January 06 2021
Is He Or She Right For Me?
The longing for an unbreakable bond with someone comes from within our core. It is a yearning that is unique to every person on the planet.
However, no matter how intense your emotions are, you must take the time to consider whether your prospective partner is marriage (or long-term relationship) material or not. Because being successful in love means choosing a partner with the right qualities that match and complement yours.
To understand whether you are on the right track, consider (A) the qualities required of the relationship you have with your partner and (B) the individual attributes of your partner that make him or her suitable for you.
The following provides a guide and checklist for what you might consider before making one of the most important decisions of your life, a commitment to a long-term relationship or marriage.
It is not a 100% complete list or guideline - it doesn't include cultural or social standing considerations, for instance. Still, if you can assess positive for all of these points, then you are indeed more than likely with the right person for a long term commitment or marriage.
A. Does Your Relationship Provide The Following:
Here are nine considerations for a healthy long term relationship.
1. A Bond With A Healthy Dependency
There comes a time in a relationship where the bond between two people reaches a tipping point, and healthy interdependency becomes a natural occurrence.
When you feel a deep need to share your life experiences with your significant other and seek their help and advice with your life problems, a strong bond exists.
Inclusivity & Sacrifice
A strong bond fosters not only inclusivity but sacrifice too. A great sign of an excellent life partner is the sacrifices that they have made for you and are willing to repeat if the need arises in the future.
Working As A Team
Additionally, having a strong bond means working as a team. Supporting one another when we face challenges is crucial for attaining relationship success.
Couples in marriage and relationships need to operate as a team so that no one is left hanging on their own. If calamity strikes, your partner's support deeply matters as it offers you the surety you need to face fears and overcome them.
A strong bond fosters intimacy with each other and draws you closer together, and at times you are inseparable. When things become so integrated, this can be a surefire sign that you possibly cannot live without your better half. Hence a marriage or long term commitment between the two of you becomes a real consideration.
Only Healthy Dependence
However, a word of warning - a strong bond is healthy, but too much dependency can be unhealthy when you compromise your interests only to please your partner.
So be sure that you maintain sufficient independence throughout for a healthy relationship to thrive. Practice self-love and care and learn to spend and enjoy time alone.
Have interests and passions separate to and outside your relationship to balance your dependency on each other - especially if you are a man. Finding this balance will ensure your connection remains secure for the future.
2. High Levels Of Honesty, Trust, & Faithfulness
Being honest with one another and having nothing left to hide serves as the foundation of any healthy marriage or relationship. In this state, trust for the other person germinates at a tremendous capacity until one can feel no point in lying or cheating on each other.
If you find the other person trustworthy to the point where you can openly share and discuss your most intimate problems and concerns without fear, it is a good start.
Marriages and long term commitments have a strong foundation when two people come together, knowing that their life secrets are safe with their partner.
3. Mutual Respect For Each Other
Respect is one of the biggest reasons to marry your loved one. Respect for yourself and one another is fundamental. When respect for the other person is lost, everything is lost.
If couples cannot bear one another's presence just because they have lost respect in each other's eyes, there is no point in the struggle anymore.
When you truly love someone, you respect their choices and decisions in life and give them the freedom to forge their path and their destiny.
4. Compassion & Forgiveness
Compassion and forgiveness are two of the most critical factors that can contribute to building a stronger marriage and relationship and, even more importantly, make it successful.
Compassion means having a strong sense of empathy for your partner. Their pain becomes your pain; their troubles are yours to manage, and vice-versa.
On the other hand, there is forgiveness, without which a relationship cannot survive. If we cannot learn to forgive others and ourselves, then that relationship comes to a standstill.
There has to be a basic understanding that no one in this world is perfect. We all have our own unique set of flaws, and we do make a lot of mistakes in our lives.
5. A Fulfillment of Needs (Financial, Physical & Sexual)
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs outlines our basic needs from food, water and shelter, safety and security, belonging and love (including sex), prestige and standing, and finally, self-actualization.
Consider what you get from being together and how far up Maslov's scale your relationship takes you. The more needs our relationship provides us, the better equipped we'll feel to convert it into a marriage.
As a minimum, you'll want to reach a feeling of belonging together with intense feelings of love and have a healthy sex life.
If you're struggling with sex, then seriously consider whether you and your partner are a good match. Sex, unfortunately, can make or break a happy relationship - so it's better to be sexually compatible before considering marriage.
You should only contemplate a marriage without good, healthy sex, or no sex at all in extreme circumstances.
6. An Alignment Of Aspirations & Beliefs
We all have aspirations and beliefs - who we want to be, what ambitions do I chase after, my goals and targets in life. It a good sign when two people meet, and they find that their aspirations and beliefs coincide with each other.
Complimentary aspirations and beliefs might extend to the house you want to live in, the food you eat, your exercise regimes, your professional goals, and your ethics and morals, including religious beliefs.
While we often say opposites attract, when you have consistent aspirations, moral and ethical beliefs, you have formed another strong pillar for a long term relationship.
7. An Agreement On Having Children
Some people don't want to have kids, and it is understandable considering the expense and effort one has to make to raise a family.
On the other hand, if you are a couple dying to have their first child, this is a strong pointer that your relationship could be developing into a lifelong bond, suitable for marriage and commitment.
If you are in disagreement about whether you want to start a family together, this is a sure-fire recipe for disaster down the line. It's unlikely that individuals will change their mind about having family, so carefully consider whether differences here are something you can accept forever.
8. A Willingness to Change
We all have our vices and habits that can bug other people. However, in true love, a person is willing to change for the better and make their partners feel happy.
There are countless examples of people quitting smoking or illegal drugs with their families and life partners' undying support.
9. A Never Back Down Or Give Up Attitude
When two people come together, what they are trying to say is that they will never back down to support one another.
When you find that attitude with someone, count yourself lucky as there aren't many people in the world who have a loved one that is willing to walk through to the end with someone.
These are unique feelings in marriage and relationships that you reserve only for the ones you deeply love the most. In other words, when you decide to commit, you do so with your entire heart and mind, forever, or till death do us part.
B. Do You See The Following Attributes In Your Partner?
Here are some examples of the individual qualities you might want to look for in your partner, noting that it may take you some time to observe and conclude on them safely - by asking the right questions:
- Your partner is giving in nature - you want a partner who is happy to do things for you without being asked or reminded, as you are glad to for them. Little gestures like making the bed in the mornings or giving up some spare time for you are essential and telling considerations.
- Your partner is responsible - for instance, your partner has healthy habits and is respectful of right and wrong.
- Your partner is stable emotionally - there are no irrational moments or flying unnecessarily off the handle. You don't need to worry about violence or abuse.
- Your partner is agreeable - you like doing similar things, and your partner will not throw up unnecessary roadblocks to the things you want to do.
- Your partner is trustworthy - this means you can both trust your partner, and your partner has the strength to trust you.
- Your partner is self-sufficient - your partner is not dependent on you, and as a result, your partner is not needy or jealous.
- Your partner has manageable baggage - you must be able to deal with any baggage your partner brings into the new relationship, like extensive debt or dependent kids.
- You are physically attracted to your partner - this might seem crass or shallow, but it is nevertheless essential and is often the basis for healthy and vital sex life.
- Your partner is available - your prospective partner needs to be available to you. In other words, not in a different romantic relationship or still married.
Deciding to marry someone is not a trivial decision, and it is easy to be blinded by love. So before you jump hastily into what is one of the most important decisions of your life, consider the relationship and individual qualities needed in a life partner and whether your partner has them.
Samantha Kaylee currently works as an Assistant Editor at Crowd Writer, a trusted platform to acquire dissertation proposal help from professionals specializing in their field of study. During her free time, she has been lately inspired by Robin Williams' videos online, who she considers the greatest of all time.
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