Extinguish the Ex and Stay Kewl | Ask April

Online Dating Fiasco | Ask April

Posted on March 11 2015

April Masini, - Relationship ExpertWe all have done some pretty outstanding and embarrassing acts of love. We get attached to the wrong men, fall for taken ones, and regret sending desperate texts. So how do we handle those tough times and hold onto the shreds of dignity we have left?

We enlisted the help of relationship expert April Masini because she's just as kewl as all of you and wears our bandage dresses too. April is hot, sexy, and real. In this post she gives us all some sound advice and simple reminders on how to stay kewl in the midst of an online dating fiasco.   


Dear April,

I met a guy online. He is handsome and rough around the edges, kind of hostile, aggressive and almost demeaning in the way he spoke and expressed himself. He lives in Atlanta, I in Tampa. He told me to Google him, and I saw he is married, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and agreed to drive to meet him. He was even better looking in person, but he was intoxicated and he had on a wedding band, but insisted he was not married. We went to a hotel and had a sleep over sex date. He left in the morning, saying he would return to bring me something to eat. He never came back. I called him numerous times, and even drove by his business where we argued, and he refused to give me gas money.  I finally drove home, and did some research. He was 13 years married with two kids. I called his wife, who said, ”I hope he used a condom or you get an AIDS test.” I freaked out. He finally told me to stop calling him, and his wife refused my FB request. I feel like such a fool. What happened?


Online Dating Fiasco

Dear Fiasco:  

I think you need a couple of black and white ground rules. So, here they are:

  1. Do not have sex on the first date. Ever. Get to know the man first. I’m guessing you didn't use protection. You should count yourself lucky to be alive. What happened to you was bad, but it could have been a lot worse. Use protection, always.
  2. If a guy is wearing a wedding band, he's married. Don't second guess.
  3. If you don’t pay attention to number two, for Pete’s sakes, don't call his wife, or contact her on social media. Believe me, she knows everything. You’re not the first or last person to sleep with him outside his marriage. You're mad at yourself, don't take it out on her or others.
  4. Never drive out of state to meet a guy from the internet for a first date. If he’s not willing or able to come to you, to have a first date in a public place, find someone in your own area code to date.

These four rules will improve your life immensely!

Thank you April!

Sometimes the truth hurts but in moments of passion, when common sense floats away in the wind, having simple ground rules to abide by makes all the difference. Thanks so much April for keeping it real - you always do. For those you who missed the boat on who April is I've put her bio below. 

April Masini is the author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and advice forum where over 20,000 questions have been asked and answered; she has more than 1.3 million Twitter followers and 560,000 Facebook fans. April has appeared as a featured guest on the The O'Reilly Factor, hosted Everything You Need to Know About Sex and been interviewed for over 10,000 articles, radio and television shows, including those on ABC, CBS, FOX, MSN, Yahoo!, CNN, BBC, Univision, Telemundo, Agence France Press — US News & World Report, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, New York Daily News, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Forbes, New York Post, Washington Post, Christian Science Monitor, Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Glamour, Woman’s Day, Yahoo!, Huffington Post, The Associated Press, TIME, Brides, Maxim, Cosmopolitan, and USA Today, among others.

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