10 Things Guys Like In Bed But They Don’t Like To Ask

Last updated on : October 25 2021

Eating cherries in bed


You're dating the man of your dreams, swooning with desire, and getting kinky under the sheets, but you're still not sure what he wants in bed.  

Should you worry? After all, your confident man will tell you if he's unhappy or wants more, correct?

Well, maybe not, because even the confident, masculine types won't share much about their sexual desires and would rather not risk making you upset or uncomfortable. 

However, just because they aren't telling you what they want doesn't mean your man doesn't have secret desires, especially for you. 

So, if you're even a little bit curious about what guys like in bed and want to surprise him with a little, or a lot more, then take a look at what guys want in bed, but generally don't ask.  

Things Guys Like In Bed, But They Don't Like To Ask

1. He Wants To Know How You Like It

A man may want you to feel that he knows his way around a girl's body, but he'll never be entirely confident that you like what he is doing unless you tell him. 

So don't be afraid to tell him what you like and don't like, and if necessary, exactly what he should do to hit the right spot for you. 

Be open about discussing new sexual positions, roleplaying, and other things that make you tick. Ask your man what he likes too. And then have fun exploring both your desires the next time you cuddle up closely. 

Of course, you don't have to open up to your deepest darkest desires (although why not). But guys would rather know what you like before sex than guess or try to work it out some other way. 

2. He Wants You To Explore Outside The Bedroom

Men love variety, and let's face it, confining your sexual activities only to the bedroom can lead to boredom. 

So keep it exciting by exploring new places to play, like the kitchen table, the sofa, in the car, or even safely outside. Combine new sex places with new positions to add extra spiciness to the experience. 

You don't need to discuss this idea with him in advance. When you feel the mood, lead him out of the bedroom to your place of desire. Or surprise him the next time you are in a quiet and appropriate place. 

Having sex in new areas can be fun and full of stimulation. It will also open up ideas for new places to try and opportunities for roleplay. 

3. He Wants You To Be Loud If You Feel It

It's challenging for a man to evaluate a woman when she is quiet or holding back. Men need feedback to understand how they are doing. Only when a woman talks or produces a sound does a man know where he stands.

Most men get hugely turned on when they see that you enjoy yourself in bed and want more because they get the recognition they desire. And what better way to express your enjoyment than to tell him so. 

Moan with pleasure. Tell your lover to go faster/harder. And if you'd like to scream when you reach a climax, don't hold back. 

Don't be afraid that the neighbors will hear your screams of desire - your man wants your neighbors to hear because it rubs his ego big time. 

4. He'd Like You To Touch Yourself

Closed her eyes

Here's the truth. If done right, touching yourself is one of the things guys love but will rarely ask from you. So surprise him by taking things into your own hands from time to time.

However, if you don't know what turns you on, this tease may not work with the man in your life. He needs to believe you're enjoying yourself to get turned on by what you're doing. 

And he'll enjoy it more if you can take playing with yourself to its explosive conclusion. Allow him to watch you or touch or kiss your breasts while you do it - anything to help you along and get him involved. 

Seeing their woman touch herself is one of the things guys fantasize about regularly. They want to know that you are enjoying yourself, and what better way to prove you are. 

It also allows them to lean back and enjoy the show - often an unfulfilled dream for many men. 

5. He Wants You To Touch Him Sexily

Having you touch his erogenous zones is something guys like in bed, even though they don't ask or even know they should. 

The truth is, most guys don't know the pleasure they could derive from being touched in these places. So give him this gift of happiness when he least expects it.

Use your tongue to swirl around his ears sensually, lick his neck, tug on his nipples gently, then move downwards for more. He'll undoubtedly be pleased. 

To men, a woman daring enough to explore these areas isn't just brilliant and sexy but exudes confidence. 

On the other hand, if you stick to kissing and touching the usual spots, he may not say anything, even if he knows you have other regions to explore. 

6. He Wants You To Smell Good

Most men won't complain about your hygiene, even though they aren't comfortable with it - often because they're just grateful to have you around. 

So, put in the effort to look and smell good at all times. Don't drop the ball just because you've been warming his bed for some time. Keep being clean and irresistible. 

Take a shower often (at least once a day), and ensure you are clean before crawling into bed with him. Spray on something lightly fragrant (you're not trying to choke him) before you meet him or when spending time with him.

After sex, get clean again. You don't have to jump out of bed immediately, but take a shower within a reasonable amount of time to show your man you make an effort. 

Of course, you should expect your man to be equally as clean, and if he is to start, these small acts of cleanliness will go a long way towards keeping him in your life.  

7. He Wants You To Take Charge From Time To Time

Many men find it a total turn-on when their partner takes the lead sexually. It shows him you are keen and enjoying the moment, allowing him to relax and enjoy it all. 

However, most men won't tell you this because they're worried it makes them look lazy or that you're not going to want to take charge yourself.

However, summon up the courage because taking charge gives you a powerful kick. You will have your man's pleasure in the palm of your hand, and it's a genuinely heady feeling.

An excellent way to take charge is to punish him with sexual gratitude. Playfully tell him he's in trouble and unexpectedly punish him with oral sex or similar. 

He'll love your idea of punishment and that you are taking the lead, especially when he doesn't have to ask you. 

If you're uncomfortable taking charge, you can accomplish the same by guiding his hands to areas you want him to touch, kiss, caress or rub. He will love that you know what you want and will willingly turn his attention to those spots you point out.

Yes, you might be afraid to show your naughty side because you don't want to shatter your good girl image. However, realize that men want to see that no-holds-barred side of you but don't want to offend you by asking for it.

8. To Be Woken Up With A Blow Job Or Hand Job

Waking up this way is a dream that most guys have and many don't get. So don't be afraid to be a little cheeky and wake your guy up with a pleasant erotic surprise.

For him, it's one of the best ways to wake up, thanks to you. It'll put a massive smile on his face and leave both of you feeling sexy for the rest of the day too.

9. Sometimes, He Wants To Do Nothing at All

For every wild, aggressive bone-sesh you've had, your man might welcome a break sometimes too. 

Try throwing him back on the bed and blindfolding him with your bra. Then give me the best oral sex ever. Don't let him lift a finger.

Or, for a more subtle approach, try positions like reverse cowgirl, which prevent him from controlling the rhythm and allow him to relax a little. 

10. Other Things Some Men Might Want

Red is the background

Here are a few more things some but not necessarily all men want, and so if you're open to providing them, do so because you might be surprised how much your man enjoys the experience.

A. Some Men Would Like To Try A Threesome

Yes, some guys would love a threesome, but it's certainly not something they would ask you to do out of fear of getting shut down. 

If you're open to dealing with more than one guy or girl in bed, and you think he'll be available to the idea, let him know and see what happens. 

However, think long and hard before offering because going through with the act might end up being bad for your long-term relationship. Tread carefully. 

B. Some Men Want You To Talk Dirty

Some men love you to talk dirty, while others might feel super-awkward. If you're unsure what type your man is but you are into talking dirty, then start slowly. 

Tell him what you want him to do to you or how it feels. The more your confidence grows, the more you'll be demanding what you want in highly vocal ways, and the more he'll be loving you for it. 

C. Some Men Want To Be Dominated

If he admits to wanting to be dominated, it means he wants to be submissive, and you be the one with the rules—whips, chains, spanking, leather, dressing up, bondage, you name it.

He won't tell you because he wrongly assumes that, as a man, he has to be the dominating one. 

However, if you're into it, and he wants you to don spiky black heels and give him a spanking, go for it.

D. Some Men Want To Watch Adult Movies Together

Some guys might want to watch adult movies with you, but they won't want to tell you because they think you'll be repulsed. 

If you like the idea, there are many women-friendly titles out there today, some of which women direct. Choose a title together that you're entirely comfortable with and go for it. 

You might end up copying what's happening on the screen.

E. Some Men Want To Be Cuddled After Sex

We assume that the man has to be the cuddler after sex, but often he wants to be cuddled too.

When you're spooning, turn things around, and cuddle him instead. Most men will appreciate that he didn't have to ask. He'll feel loved and cherished. 

Your partner needs to feel that way too.

F. Some Want To Know If You're Satisfied

Some men can read you perfectly; however, others may want to know how satisfied you are after intercourse. 

It's not a compulsory rule, but many men want to know if they rocked your world. If you enjoyed the experience, let him know verbally or through your actions. He'll appreciate you for doing so if he doesn't know already. 

G. Some Men Want You To Stroke Their Ego

Firstly, you're never going to stroke a man's ego to build up his confidence or redeem his lost self-worth - because a man who needs his ego stroked for the wrong reasons will often turn out to be needy, which isn't attractive at all.   

However, some men love it when you stroke their egos in bed. They want to hear how good they look and how well they perform. Treat this as an innocent desire.   

So right before you get to work each other's bodies on the bed, take some time out to playfully talk about how amazing he is in bed and how you can't wait to have him inside you. 

Let your passion guide you, and maybe gaze, or do a sexy run-down with your eyes to get him super excited. Play with it, and see what happens. 

Things Women Do In Bed That Men Don't Like

We've covered an exhaustive list of the things guys want you to do, so it's only fair that now we pick up on a few things they do not like. 

1. Being A Dead Fish

Some people call it a sack of potatoes. Others call it dead fish (use your imagination). Whatever you call it, men universally hate it. 

They don't want somebody who's just lying there because they want to feel like they're having sex with a woman. Not with a body.

You don't have to do yoga exercises to show him you're alive, but try a few of the things we note above to liven your sessions up. 

2. Only The Basics

There are about as many sexual positions as you can imagine, so it's no wonder guys get bored with girls who always want to be on top or who always want to be on the bottom. 

You have to live a little after all. Guys hate it when the sex becomes predictable, and it turns them off. 

3. Not Respecting Yourself

Men want you to respect yourself. 

You're sexy if you're slightly hard to get and a bit of an enigma. If you open yourself up too fast and give him everything he wants, he'll quickly lose interest and might lose respect for you too.  

Always show a healthy level of self-respect when having sex, hold back from time to time, and make your man work for your sexual attention and desires. 


Use this exhaustive guide to prepare yourself perfectly for the next time you hop into bed with your favorite man.  

Yes, it pays to educate yourself on the things guys like in bed but don't like to ask. Because even the most confident, masculine types won't share much about their sexual desires and would rather not risk making you upset or uncomfortable.

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