Why Breakups Are A Great Opportunity To Reinvent Yourself
Last updated on : August 09 2022
Going through a breakup is close to the worst experience ever.
You can't sleep nor eat, you can't stop yourself from reliving your good memories with your ex, and sometimes you can't help but hate and blame yourself for the breakup. You might not feel attractive, fun, or intelligent enough to be worthy of anyone's love.
But the good thing is that no pain lasts forever. Crazy as this might sound right now, you will become a much better person when you finally move on and resist any temptations to look back.
The shockwaves you are experiencing right now are life-transforming. They will pull your guard down, lay bare all your insecurities, force you to confront your vulnerabilities, and gradually rebuild your resilience. However, it is up to you to take the breakup process as a chance to reinvent yourself and improve.
Here are seven ways of turning a breakup into an opportunity for self-reinvention:
1. Reach back in time to a place before the relationship
Right now, it might be hard to remember how good you had it before you met your ex. Every memory you have at the moment has something to do with your ex, and your idea of fun is somehow tied to your ex too.
It takes a lot of effort and commitment to reach back in time and remember the things you loved to do, the places you loved to visit, and who you were as a person before you met.
The good thing is that you now have time to experiment with whichever ideas come to mind until you trace your steps back to your pre-relationship self.
Go through your pre-ex photos and try to remember the passions or hobbies you loved. Do everything you can to rekindle these passions and hobbies. If that doesn't work, experiment with new hobbies and dedicate all your energy to them.
Some great passions you can experiment with include cooking, knitting, dancing, and Yoga. Just push yourself to get out of the house, shake up your routine, try old and new things, and take back control of your life.
Remember not to neglect these hobbies again, even if you find another lover.
2. You now have more untapped love. Shower yourself with it.
In a relationship, you spend most of your time loving and caring for your partner. You now have all the love in your heart to share with no one else but yourself. Start making moves that will help you turn your grief into positive gains.
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, people whose positive energy can gradually transmit to you. Immerse yourself in their love, laugh, play, and enjoy every act of love they send.
- Open up and share your feelings with your trusted family and friends. Allow yourself to be pampered and consoled by your loved ones.
- Immerse yourself in group activities that make you feel better and worthy, e.g., community outreach programs or sporting activities that give you an endorphin rush. Just let loose and have fun!
- Consider a complete digital detox for a while to clear your mind. Protect your mind and soul from the influences and pressures of social media.
- Fuel your body with healthy food and regular exercise. Let the world see how magical your body can be.
- Connect with your emotional world through mindfulness practices, e.g., meditation.
- Allow yourself to excel and grow. Read a book. Enroll in short professional courses and advance your career. Teach a class and let the world bask in the glory of your brilliance. Write a book and show the world what you are made of. Just allow your star to shine.
3. Now you can travel more. You can travel to places you like.
How often have you been vacationing with your ex? Have you been visiting the places you like, or have you always followed him to his dream destinations?
There are many compromises you have to make when your travel plans are intertwined with someone else's.
Now you can travel when you want, where you want, and where your budget allows. When you get to your destination, you can talk to and hang around whoever you like and do the things that tickle your fancy.
So, get yourself a pair of hiking boots, get your bikini ready, and pack your bags because the open road is calling.
Here are some of the best destinations to travel solo after a breakup:
- Greece: This country is magnificent. It allows you to take to the ocean on a boat and leave all your sorrows in the sea.
- Tanzania: This is the place to go if you genuinely want to step outside your comfort zone. This East African country is home to the Serengeti National Park, the park that offers some of the best safaris in the world. There also are long, pristine beaches just in case you have an appetite for both worlds.
- Italy: Are you a foodie? Italy is known for its delicious food. The beauty, history, and rich culture that places such as Cinque Terre, Rome, and Lake Como offer are vital for your post-breakup clarity.
4. You're wiser now. Act Wise.
You have learned your lessons now. You now are much wiser than you were at the start of the failed relationship.
From this point on, you should be able to create more meaningful relationships (social or romantic), give better advice, and negotiate better for what's good for you.
Some of the lessons you must learn from the breakup include:
- Relationships end for a reason, good or bad, and it is okay when things don't work out. It is not the end of the world.
- Learn to take stock of your contributions to any thriving or failing relationships. Learn to criticize yourself constructively and improve yourself. You now know some of the places where you need to tighten the nuts and bolts.
- Learn to accept and move on from relationships that don't work out for you, including professional relationships.
- Learn to define your core values, communicate your needs, and set clear boundaries.
- Learn that many people on the planet are capable of loving you. You weren't made for that one person only.
- Accept that you don't have to get things right on the first go.
- You probably were lied to, cheated on, duped, or betrayed by the person you loved and dedicated your body, soul, and time to. You now understand that people can surprise you. That lesson is applicable even in your business dealings.
- You probably wanted something your ex didn't and vice versa (e.g., kids or pets). Now you understand the possibility of being in love and committed to someone and still disagreeing on pertinent issues.
5. You now can buy and own anything without seeking your ex's opinion or approval
Finally, you don't have to consider his tastes and preferences when shopping for anything. You can now buy whatever you like- spend your money however you like.
To get a glimpse of what this newfound freedom tastes like, buy:
- New lingerie. You don't have to wear those panties you hate but couldn't get rid of because your ex gave them to you as a gift. Besides, you will feel better in a pair of new underwear that doesn't remind you of the sexual experiences you shared with your ex. Freshening up your underwear drawer will also get you excited about future sexual adventures with someone else.
- A new pet for some extra love and companionship. Don't make this a reckless emotional decision, though. You need to be mentally and financially stable to give the pet all the love and attention they need.
- Buy a new bed and some new bedding to erase any memories of him from your bedroom.
- Buy the car, house, or any asset of your dream if you can afford it. You can even buy a house for your mama without explaining such a massive expenditure to anyone. You now don't have to spend your money on his fantasies and dreams.
6. Time to revamp your look
Revamping your look is fantastic for your confidence and overall well-being. You no longer have to dress to impress your ex. This single time is your chance to adopt a look that helps you glow from the inside out.
Among other things:
- Be classy. Be a woman endowed with grace, dignity, and a beautiful calm. Own your beauty and sexiness. Shop for a dress that you genuinely find empowering and sexy, not what your ex thought looked good on you.
- Get yourself a few extra heels and wear them everywhere. Heels make you stand and carry yourself in a sexy, confident way. A new pair of boots would be great too for those evening walks under the moon.
- Shop for a sexy leather jacket. Leather evokes confidence. It gives you a badass outlook.
- Buy bright lipstick, preferably in the pink or red family. Let your inner fire burn on the outside.
- Ditch the hairstyle he chose for you and get your signature look.
7. Time to make new friends
It is hard to manage friendships, significantly when your social circles overlap with the ex.
You should start building your friendships with people who offer a fresh perspective and push you to be better. There are many ways to make new friends, e.g., through local community empowerment programs.
You can also take on a new hobby, create a new life for yourself, and use that as an opportunity to socialize with people with whom you share a common interest.
Post-breakup is the perfect time to start building yourself back up and learning from your mistakes.
Don't entertain the thought of picking up unhealthy habits and behaviors such as drinking, eating junk, and smoking. Instead, allow yourself to learn through this new learning curve, experience love from all available sources, and be reborn in the end.
That is how you will get ready to reintroduce yourself to the world and shape this new chapter in your life.
Don't Forget To Share On Pinterest
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The Kewl Shop
The Kewl Shop is a blog. We write about all things lifestyle with a strong focus on relationships, self-love, beauty, fitness, and health. Important stuff that every modern woman or man needs to know.
Editor: Charles Fitzgerald