How To Make A Man Chase You After You Slept With Him
Last updated on : October 05 2021
Ok, you've slept with him, and now you're all bent up, but you like him a lot, and you'd like more of his attention, perhaps a relationship and even some commitment.
So what's the best approach to get what you want? Especially if he's not showing much interest, is withdrawing, or is just being a man incapable of commitment or displaying his feelings.
One approach is to open up to him and say what you want, straight out. But opening up like this is dangerous and puts you at risk of rejection or him losing respect for you, or worse, using you for what he wants.
Sometimes a subtle approach is better and more comfortable, so here are eight foolproof techniques to make him chase you after you hook up.
1. Understand What He's Thinking
Realize that for many guys, the morning after a hook-up means one thing – getting out.
Maybe they've got what they wanted, or they are unsure about what to do next and feel uncomfortable. Either way, they often don't want to hang around.
If the guy you like is acting differently now that you've slept together, he may be worried about what to do, he might feel some guilt, or that you're going to try to force him into a relationship with you.
When this happens, it's best to let him go. You can make it known that you enjoyed the sex, but otherwise, it's in your best interest to create as much space between the two of you, to allow feelings to settle.
Remain calm, keep your emotions in check, and avoid being clingy or needy at all costs. A little indifference will work wonders at this stage.
Read on to understand why.
2. Don't Make Demands On Him
If one or both of you made it clear from the start that you hooking up together is all casual, don't push for more.
Something might grow out of your connection. You never know. But if you go in knowing that you're just hanging out, you can't start expecting more.
See how he reacts. If he's showing signs of wanting more, then follow through, not by offering more sex, but by encouraging him to spend some quality time with you first.
If he's genuinely interested, he won't mind spending time with you doing things you like to do, and test him to see if he does.
On the other hand, you don't want to be too enthusiastic about doing things he likes that you don't - like watching the game and drinking beer.
Make him work a bit for your attention because he'll value you more if you do. Every man wants more of what he cannot get - remember this little truism if you are making yourself too available for him.
3. No Pressure
Men and women view sex differently. And men don't like getting pressured into committing to a relationship.
So if you've just slept with him and it's only been a few days since, don't expect that he'll chase you right away.
Be polite, remain in contact but don't act emotional nor cling to him or be needy. And don't discuss commitment at all.
It's vital that you provide him some space and do not chase him. By providing space, you allow him to miss you and want you more.
Understand that he's not going to want much to do with you if you're pressing him for his time and commitment.
It's hard to behave this way when you want to connect with him more. But it's better to let him experience the rush of love on his terms without you trying to influence the process.
And when you act a little indifferent, he'll quickly realize his feelings for you – and maybe come running to chase you this time.
4. Allow Him To Be A Man
As a follow on from the previous points, keep in mind that the goal is to make him do what men are supposed to do – and that is, to lead the relationship.
If you give him the space to initiate texting or calling you first or arranging your next date if he wants to, it will provide him with a sense of control – and it can be the way for him to realize that he's falling for you.
But, of course, when he does that, don't be too available as well. Make him work a little for your attention and time.
5. Be Yourself And Focus On Yourself
There's nothing sexier than a girl who's confident in who she is. Acting like someone else always backfires, and it's unnecessary.
Remind yourself that you are fantastic, astounding, and altogether extraordinary, just the way you are. You don't need to be anyone other than yourself.
And, just like we've mentioned a few times already, don't focus on him, which is a mistake too many women make. Instead, please put all your focus on yourself.
Get on with your life, and be passionate about the things you do every day.
He'll wonder why you aren't paying him the attention he expects and will find your passion and independence appealing, quite the opposite of most girls' clingy or needy behavior.
And by holding back a little bit, you'll create an air of mystery around yourself, leaving him wanting you more.
Unfortunately, the more you throw yourself at someone, the less interested they are.
It makes no sense, we know, but let him come to you – otherwise, no matter how much he likes you, he'll feel smothered and is likely to pull away.
6. Be Fun and Sexy When You're Together
If you are spending some time together, be sure to have fun instead of focussing on your commitment desires.
Be the fun, sexy woman he enjoys spending time with and keep him guessing what you'll do next.
Show him you're an exciting, attractive woman who adds spontaneity and excitement to his life – and not someone who's going to be calling him when he's focussed on his own time.
Don't constantly check in with him for reassurance or ask him about his feelings for you. Just be non-commital and super confident.
The more secure and confident you come across, the more he'll be intrigued by you.
7. Go With The Flow
If you're struggling to behave this way, remind yourself that you don't have to please him. Focus on enjoying yourself and use the time to boost your confidence by looking attractive for yourself and other men.
There's no point wasting your time and energy for someone who isn't meeting you halfway.
If he's not making contact with you or setting up a new time to meet, don't chase him or call him to understand why. Instead, move on to someone who will value and cherish you as you deserve.
8. Don't Have Sex With Him Again
Unless your new man is showing signs of commitment, in other words, setting up new dates and making quality time for you, you are best not having sex with him again.
If you make yourself sexually available to him without some commitment in return, you might become emotionally connected when he is not. This behavior will set you up for rejection and heartbreak.
If you're too easy, he could quickly lose respect for you, something you don't want. This situation is terrible for your mental health and could damage your self-respect.
Even if you feel strong, don't be tempted to sleep with him again. Making offers of sex will not win him over. Quite the opposite, when he has taken what he wants, he'll lose interest fast.
Instead, be sexy and flirtatious but hold back until he deserves you by showing genuine interest and commitment.
Just after you've slept with someone isn't always the best time to bring up the fact that you're after something serious.
If you do so, you might risk turning your new man off or pushing him away, so keep it casual and take things slowly.
Don't rush or pressure him into anything. Instead, give him time and space to come to you in his own time.
Above all, be yourself, and focus on having fun. You don't need to please this man, and you shouldn't. But you can keep things sexy by displaying both confidence and indifference.
This behavior is most likely to hook him in, and if it doesn't, throw him back in the pond. There are plenty of fish waiting to please you, and you deserve the best.
- Don't discuss commitment
- Don't influence him
- Don't act emotionally
- Don't cling, don't be romantic
- Instead, focus on yourself, give him space, and let him come to you.
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The Kewl Shop
The Kewl Shop is a blog. We write about all things lifestyle with a strong focus on relationships, self-love, beauty, fitness, and health. Important stuff that every modern woman or man needs to know.
Editor: Charles Fitzgerald